Golfing with lions –
risky stuff…..
Sign on the
third fairway of the Skukuza Golf Club, Kruger National Park:-
Directly translated (something
is always lost in the translation) it says
Antelope – Dead – Hit
Huge – Fright –
Stream
Here’s how the little stream got re-baptised:
Frans Laubscher, then chief civil engineer in the Park left
his office ‘maybe a little early’ on
that fateful Tuesday afternoon. He was
going to play a quick couple of holes on his own in an effort to improve his
game. That late on a Tuesday afternoon
the course was deserted. The Committee
had just started their monthly meeting in the clubhouse, but otherwise there
was no-one around.
Frans grabbed a couple of clubs from his bag and headed for
No. 1.
*
When he teed up on No.3, he noticed a herd of impala grazing
halfway down the fairway. This is a very
common sight, and he paid no heed. His
drive was a masterpiece, and when his ball sailed into the herd, they took off
at speed, which is par for the course.
Except this time there was a supine impala left lying in the middle of
the fairway.
Thinking he may have stunned it, Frans walked up to the
animal only to discover to his dismay that he had actually killed the impala
with the golf ball. He was still
pondering this unlikely scenario when there was a threatening roar from the
nearby bush. Frans was an old hand in
the Park, and was not unduly worried, as it was still broad daylight. He got up and started retreating slowly while
the roaring increased in ferocity. Obviously
the lion was intent on claiming the kill.
He had retreated several yards when a lioness exploded from
the thicket and charged. Frans knew that
turning his back or even thinking about running would guarantee certain
death. With nerves of steel he froze –
the lioness would claim the kill and drag it back into the bush.
That’s what was supposed to happen, but it didn’t. She cleared the carcass and kept on coming
straight at him. He later remarked that
at this stage his frozen state wasn’t due to ‘nerves of steel’. He was simply unable to move. He knew that his brand-new Big Bertha driver
wasn’t going to impress this lady at all.
The lioness skidded to a halt right in front of him,
snarling and showing off her very impressive dentition. After a stalemate moment Frans took another
slow, tiny step backwards. She allowed
him to, and held her ground. With very
slow and careful steps Frans increased the distance.
The lioness seemed to be calming down and he increased his
pace slightly. Once he was well away she
broke off and turned away. Frans
increased his pace considerably – he probably would have made a fool of Ben
Johnson.
Back at the clubhouse the meeting was in full swing. Nick de Beer, one of the committee members
later told me Frans came flying into the clubhouse without a word, white as a
sheet. He headed straight for the fridge
without greeting anyone, gulped down a beer in a single swallow, opened another
one and sat down mumbling something along the lines of “sheeeeit…. F**k me…..”
It took a while and another beer before they could get any
sense out of him.
This was not normal behaviour (referring not to Frans, but
to the lion) so they all got into a vehicle to investigate.
On the fairway they found the dead impala and a few scattered
golf clubs. When they exited the vehicle
for a closer inspection, the lion started up again and they wasted no time in
getting back into the vehicle.
In the thicket they discovered an irate lioness suckling
four new born cubs.
That explained it all.
It also explained why Frans’ game took a serious downswing from that day
on, especially when playing in lion
country.
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