Tuesday, 10 September 2013

The poodle, the baby crocs and the birds.....

To follow up on my previous posting:-


By the time I got home with my three baby crocs in their cardboard box, I was still pondering the next hurdle – now what?

My house was in the middle of town, and I had to raise three crocodiles in secret to a size where they could fend for themselves in the wild.  What I was doing was technically illegal - it is against the law to keep wild indigenous animals in captivity.  Nature Conservation had refused to give us a permit for Lion (see future posting) and they sure as hell weren’t going to give me a permit for crocs in town either. These guys should have loved me, but somehow they didn’t.

I procured a big birdcage which I placed in my backyard, and created a nice habitat for my babies – shrubs, sand, even a sunken birdbath.  All during this sweaty afternoon my wife’s miniature poodle Sam was incessantly sniffing at the box, growling, whining and scratching.  I ignored him and got on with the job.

By late afternoon the perfect habitat (my opinion) was ready to receive its residents.  Sam was still pestering me, and becoming a little strident.  I put one baby on the lawn for Sam to have a good look and satisfy his curiosity.  A lot of posturing, prancing and sniffing ensued.  Suddenly Sam screamed and made a perfect back somersault with the croc attached to his upper lip.  That’s when Sam’s attitude changed, and he became a resolute crocodile hater.

Next; food.  I phoned my friend Prof Cobus Raath.

“Grasshoppers, small frogs and so-on.”  Great.  I can’t spend my days hunting for grasshoppers and small frogs.

We settled on a diet of minced meat laced with calcium powder and a wide range of other supplements.  Feeding three little human infants would have been less hassle.  Throughout the project Sam would vociferously insist on his share – every time I started preparing the food, he started doing his nut and would only calm down once he had his share.  Jealous little bastard.

All went well, and the little crocs seemed happy and were growing well.

One day a friend suggested that it would be nice if I put some birds in the cage, as the habitat had developed into something really nice.  I thought it was a good idea.  So did the crocs.

When I found the third dead bird floating in the birdbath I abandoned the bright idea.

One day I got wind of an imminent raid by Fauna and Flora (= my friends at Nature Conservation).  A benevolent friend Piet immediately started building a rather grand facility on his smallholding, and we moved the crocodiles.  I rather enjoyed the frustration when the powers that be swooped on my property.  The empty cage prompted them to insist on searching my house.  The twits even sifted through the dirty washing to make sure I wasn’t hiding any crocodiles in the laundry.

About a year later Piet was having a friends over for a barbecue.  It must have been quite a party, as Piet at some stage decided to treat the friends on a crocodile show.  Apparently he took a piece of to-be-barbecued meat and hand-fed the crocs.  Must have seemed a good idea at the time.

It took fifteen stitches to repair his hand, and it convinced me that the crocs were now ready to go home.


PS. I will hopefully be settling in my new home within a few weeks.  Once I have unpacked the boxes of old photographs, I will post some of them on the blog, referring back to this and other previous postings.


Novels by Leon Mare

The Sam Jenkins trilogy:        Poacher,      Cheetah in the Rain,       Fighting AIDS

Psychological thriller:            Show me a Reason – the lives and times of Michelle Montagne.

                Available on Amazon, Apple, Sony, Kobo, Barnes&Noble, Smashwords etc.




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