Friday, 16 May 2014

Written a book lately?

You have two choices:
1. Pick up the pen and get going.
2. Pick up the scalpel and slash your wrists.

Option #2 is the easier one, but #1 holds the possibility of more long-term satisfaction. Even joy. And even that rarest sense of all: fulfillment. No-one needs to buy it or read it (even though that would be nice): like slashing your wrists, you are doing this for you - not for somebody else.

Should you decide to write a book, here is the recipe:

1. You need a mixing bowl - a big one. Big enough to hold a lot of blood sweat and tears, as well as a fusion of all of your emotions, moods and fantasies. Go for the wild ones. Dare to step outside the box. Bacchus can sometimes be of assistance in this.
2. Then you need to say goodbye to most of your friends and family. Don the hat of "The Seldom Seen Man."  Ignore it if your loved ones start whispering phrases like "he's gone weird again". It is of absolutely no consequence. 
3. Throw away your alarm clock - what is going to happen to you will not flirt with the concept of time.
4. Throw away the scalpel otherwise you will soon be reconsidering.
5. Start adding and mixing. Mechanical blenders are of no use - this is all about elbow grease. There is no such thing as inspiration: it is all about perspiration.
6. Now you can start playing God. The wonderful thing about this is that you can create people and characters, and you can make them think and do anything you wish, no matter how outrageous. Isn't that wonderful?

The key word is perseverance. Once you have saddled this horse, ride it into the ground and never, ever give up.

Speaking of which: this has been a wonderful respite on a sunny morning in Yzerfontein. I have reached the 10 000 words mark this morning with "Sasquatch", but apparently that is not good enough for him. Something or someone is kicking down my front door. Gotta go.

Good luck. Be sure to go for more equable characters. This guy is a nightmare.

Loveya all.

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